


you reach for my hand, but you touch my heart

by punknouis



Series: Clemmings Uni AU [2]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5 Seconds of Summer - Freeform, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Confused Luke, Confused Michael, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, confused boys!, i literally don't know what to tag this like it's hardly anything, just a lot of feelings really, uni!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2018-02-07 05:56:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1887462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punknouis/pseuds/punknouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael was starting to get soft and he hated it, yet he hated even more that Luke still wasn't technically his boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you reach for my hand, but you touch my heart

**Author's Note:**

> i finished this like two days ago but my dad took my computer so im jUST now posting it
> 
> this is trash and i didn't beta it so i apologize for any mistakes there are but i was bored and i really miss clemmings so
> 
> title comes from This Can't Be Healthy by Anarbor (a fabulous song btw)
> 
> follow/come talk to me on [tumblr](http://sleepyclemmings.tumblr.com/)! xx

* * *

Michael was getting really sick and tired of hearing the b-word. It was haunting him.

He heard it from Calum ( _"Where's your boyfriend?"_ ), from Ashton ( _"So did you ask him to be your boyfriend yet?"_ ), from the guy Alex at the music store ( _"Oh is that your boyfriend?"_ ), from his mum ( _"Mikey, have you found yourself a boyfriend yet?"_ ).

If Michael heard the b-word one more time he was gunna shove the b-word up someone's ass.

It's not that Michael didn't like the idea of having a boyfriend (he liked it a lot actually), it was just he wasn't sure if he had one.

Sure, Luke and him had been spending a lot of time together. Sure, they held hands and made out a lot. Sure, they went out to lunch three times a week on routine. Sure, they talked for hours on the phone on the days they didn't see each other. But Luke wasn't his boyfriend.

It had been over a month since their first date, and it felt like nothing and everything had changed. They never really talked much about what they were doing, just kind of went with it.

But Michael was careful with Luke, more careful than he had ever been with anyone else. He made sure they moved at Luke's pace. Michael made sure to stop flirting with Alex at the music store and to stop flirting with anyone else who wasn't Luke. He called Luke to ask him about his day and would always do his best to cheer him up if he was in a bad mood. Michael even got up at 9 AM on a Saturday once because Luke had said he wanted to go get breakfast. ("That's when you know," Calum had said.)

Michael was starting to get soft and he hated it, yet he hated even more that Luke still wasn't technically his boyfriend.

So Michael avoided the b-word at all costs.

-

One particular Thursday evening, Michael was sprawled out on Luke's couch catching up on last week's Game of Thrones while Luke picked up Panda Express for them. Luke had been tutoring him for their upcoming Calculus test all afternoon and Michael felt like his brain had melted into a puddle, so they were taking a break.

Michael closed his eyes and took a deep breath, burying his face into his pillows. He just wanted Luke to come back so they could eat and cuddle like they did practically every time they hung out. Michael felt his phone vibrate and he rolled awkwardly onto his back and wiggled around to try and pull his phone out of the pocket of his tight jeans.

“Hullo?” Michael said in a tired voice.

“Mate, bring your boyfriend and come clubbing with Ashton and I!” Calum screeched through the phone. Michael rolled his eyes, even though he knew Calum couldn’t see it.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Michael said with a groan, “And he’s out getting us Panda Express so you’re going to have to wait.”

“Oh my god he is so totally your boyfriend,” Calum said with a laugh.

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Michael screeched back, “Stop saying that!”

Calum laughed again and Michael could hear the smile in his voice, “Whatever dude, just meet us at that bar we went to a couple weeks back. Text me when you get there ok?” Michael let out a sigh and replied, “Fine,” begrudgingly before hanging up on his best friend.

(Michael hadn’t noticed Luke had walked in and heard the whole conversation from the doorway.)

Michael’s head snapped up when he heard the door slam shut and he smiled up at Luke, happy to see him and happy to finally have food.

Luke’s stomach felt like it had just fallen out of his ass after hearing that the kid he had been head over heels for for the past 2 months didn’t want to be his boyfriend. But he couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“I come bearing gifts,” Luke said jokingly, in an attempt to cover up what he was feeling, and holding up the bags of Panda Express. He placed his keys and his wallet on the table and walked over to the couch.

Michael curled up into a ball to make room for Luke to sit next to him and made grabby hands for the bags. Luke handed him his bag and watched as Michael quickly pulled out the take away box and began to dig in.

Michael’s recently dyed green hair was messy on top of his head and he was wearing a white Sex Pistols shirt and black jeans. His striped socks didn’t match his outfit, but they covered Michael's wiggling toes. Luke had never seen anything cuter than the boy next to him.

Luke’s heart hurt as Michael’s voice saying “ _He’s not my boyfriend,_ ” played on repeat in his head.

There was nothing more that Luke wanted than to call Michael his.

He loved cuddling with him, listening to music with him, kissing him, talking to him about anything and everything, making him happy, and he wanted to do that all the time and to be the only one allowed to do that. The thought of Michael with someone else made Luke feel queasy.

Michael’s voice drew Luke out of his thoughts, “Aren’t you going to eat?”

Luke looked over again at Michael, who had noodles stuffed into his mouth and wide, honest eyes shining back at Luke.

Luke shook his head and spoke with a sigh, “Not really hungry anymore.” He let his head drop back against the couch and closed his eyes.

Michael shrugged and stretched his legs out onto Luke’s lap and continued eating. They sat in silence while Michael ate and watched tv and Luke got lost on his thoughts and absentmindedly traced circles onto Michael’s ankles. It was a force of habit by now, a sign they had gotten quickly comfortable with each other, falling into each other easily.

Luke's thoughts went back to Michael (as usual). He knew that he had no right to claim Michael as his if he didn't want him to. It didn't make it hurt any less, but Luke knew he would just have to push it to the side. He still had Michael like this, sitting on his couch looking right at home. He would take Michael any way he could have him, even if that meant knowing Michael didn't feel the same way he did.

Finally, Michael finished his noodles and put the now empty box on the table in front of him. “Cal invited us to go out with him and Ashton tonight, do you wanna go?” Michael asked Luke, his eyes still glued to the tv.

Luke shrugged and turned to Michael, “Do you wanna go?”

Michael shrugged and Luke let out a laugh. Luke mulled it over and Michael turned to look at Luke.

Every day, Michael was still taken aback by how attractive Luke was. His facial features were sharp and his body was broad and firm, unlike Michael who was made up of soft edges. At the moment, Luke’s face was somber (but still beautiful).

He looked tired and almost a little sad, but Michael couldn’t imagine why. He was fiddling with his lip ring and Michael was about to lean over and kiss him to make him stop when Luke spoke up, “I wouldn’t mind going out, it’s been a while since I have.”

“You sure?” Michael replied, “We can just stay here if you want you know, I don’t mind.”

Luke shook his head and replied, “No, let’s go. It should be fun.” Michael nodded and checked his phone, “We should probably go soon then.”

Luke nodded and patted Michael’s feet so he could stand up to get ready. When Luke stood up, Michael reached over and grabbed Luke’s hand.

“Hey,” he said in a quiet voice, “You okay?”

Luke looked into Michael’s eyes, which were overflowing with concern, and nodded stiffly.

“Yeah, of course,” he lied.

Michael gave him a skeptical look but didn’t push it. He hesitated before speaking, “Alright, help me find my shoes.”

-

When they walked up to the bar, Ashton greeted them outside the door. “My main men!” He shouted, his arms outstretched to pull the two boys into a group hug. “Well, technically you're my _other_ main men,” he reiterated.

Luke chuckled, “Hey Ash, where’s Calum?”

Michael couldn’t help but smile, not only had he gotten closer with Luke, but Luke had grown closer with his best friends as well.

“Ah, my _real_ main man. He’s inside,” Ashton said with a dreamy smile, “C’mon!”

Luke and Michael followed Ashton as he bounded back into the building. Michael reached down and intertwined his fingers with Luke’s and gave him a sweet smile.

Luke looked down at their hands and felt a lump in his throat. He gave Michael a tight smile, but in his head he wished Michael wouldn’t do stuff like that; he wished Michael wouldn’t make it seem like he wanted him when Luke knew he didn’t.

They walked into the dimly lit bar and they heard Calum before they saw him, his voice rising above the classic rock playing.

“LAAAAAADS!” Calum shouted, bringing both Michael and Luke into a hug. “Hey mate,” Michael said with a laugh.

Calum smiled at him while wrapping an arm around Ashton’s shoulder. Ashton leaned up and planted a messy kiss to Calum’s cheek. He snatched the beer out of Calum's hand to have a sip for himself and Calum looked at Ashton with the fondest smile Michael had ever seen.

Sometimes his best friends were so cute and in loved it made Michael want to throw up.

“Somebody get these lads a beer!” Calum shouted to no one in particular.

“Yes please,” Luke mumbled under his breath, causing Michael to cackle out loud. Luke smiled smugly at himself, unable to hide the fact that he was pleased to know he caused that.

-

Four and a half beers later and Michael was having a little trouble keeping everything in focus. It’s not that he was a lightweight, except that he was a lightweight.

He had been watching Ashton and Calum attempt to play pool for the past fifteen minutes and frankly he was getting bored of watching them makeout in celebration every time one of them sunk a ball into a pocket, (which wasn’t that often, considering they were already drunk when Michael and Luke arrived, but still.)

Michael turned around to look for his tall, blonde angel but didn’t see him anywhere. Michael frowned to himself.

“Cal, have you seen Luke?” he called out to his friend.

Calum pulled away from Ashton’s attack on his neck to look over at Michael, “What?” he said with a puzzled look on his face.

Michael sighed with exasperation, “Luke. Tall. Blonde. Hot. Came in with me. Have you seen him?”

“Oh the one that’s not your boyfriend?” Calum said with a cheeky grin, “Nope, haven’t seen him!” Ashton cackled at his boyfriend’s joke and rested his head on Calum’s shoulder.

“I told you to stop using the b-word!” Michael screeched, stomping his foot like a frustrated child.

“Just ask him out already!” Ashton yelled out obnoxiously, laughing at himself as he wrapped his arms around Calum, clinging to him like a koala bear.

Michael groaned out loud and threw his hands up in the air, “You guys are useless,” he slurred. He left his half empty beer on the pool table and turned around to look for Luke.

He weaved his way through the clusters of people, which had grown since they had arrived, giggling and apologizing every five seconds. He spotted Luke’s blonde quiff at the bar and made a bee line for him.

Luke was sitting nursing a beer while a short redhead was standing in front of him. She kept flipping her hair and touching Luke's arm. She must've said something funny because Luke threw his head back and laughed, and at the moment something in Michael snapped.

He was hot, like sweating, he was so angry. He could hear his blood pumping and his hands were shaking. What the fuck was this girl doing talking to Luke? What the fuck was Luke doing talking to some girl?

He didn't have any right to mess with his emotions like that. Why would he do that? Michael's mind was like a hurricane swirling with questions that demanded answers.

Before Michael could think about his actions, he was storming over to the bar and standing right in front of them. He grabbed Luke’s hand at yanked him up out of his seat. “ _Mine_ ,” he hissed venomously at the girl, turning on his heel and taking Luke with him, leaving the girl at the bar with a puzzled look on her face.

Alcohol was making Luke’s head spin but it was also making Michael’s heart race. Luke started stammering out questions that Michael ignored as he dragged Luke through the crowded bar, pulling him into a back hallway. He pushed Luke against the wall, his grip firm on his hips, and kissed him hard.

Luke let out a noise of surprise but quickly melted into the kiss, his lips pliant and willing against Michael’s. He wrapped his arms around Michael’s neck as Michael gripped Luke’s hips tightly. Michael kissed him until he was breathless, and then kissed him again.

Michael finally broke the kiss when he began to leave hot opened mouth kisses along Luke's jaw line.

" _Mine_ ," he whispered harshly into Luke's ear, nipping his ear lobe.

Luke shuttered and nodded his head feverishly. "Yeah, yours," he breathed out heavily as Michael began leaving a scorching trail of kisses down his neck, "All yours."

Michael bit down on Luke's collarbone and Luke's hips bucked up automatically, his body giving in to Michael's touch. Luke tangled his fingers into Michael's hair as Michael sucked a mark onto Luke's skin. Luke's head was spinning and the only thing he could think about was Michael's mouth and having him all over him.

Luke let out a whine when Michael disconnected from Luke's skin and stood up to be at eye level with Luke.

"Why were you talking to that girl?" Michael asked, his words slurring a bit but his voice stern. His eyes were boring into Luke's, who was dumbstruck and unprepared to give a response. His brain felt like it was short-circuiting due to the alcohol and his skin still warm from Michael's searing kisses.

"Uh I, I don't know. She just, like, came up to me and started t-to talk to me," Luke rushed out. He hoped it was a sufficient enough answer, but the look on Michael's face told him it wasn't.

Michael's eyebrows were pulled together and the corners of his lips were quirked down; he was going through a roller coaster of emotions, everything from jealousy and anger, to lust and want, to pain and hurt. His eyes were sad and his voice shook when he answered Luke, "Were you gunna go home with her?"

Luke thought that if his jaw dropped any further it would hit the dirty tile floor. "N-no! Fuck, no, Michael why would I do that?" Luke responded quickly, his hands dropping to rest on Michael's chest.

Michael's gaze shifted to a spot on the wall behind Luke's head, staring intently as if he was trying to burn a hole into it with his vision. He shrugged and mumbled, "I don't know."

Luke shook his head, “I wouldn't do that. It was just-" Luke paused to chew his lower lip, choosing his next words carefully. "I heard you say on the phone that you didn't want me to be your boyfriend, and like, it hurt, ya know?"

Michael's head snapped up as Luke spoke. Now it was Luke's turn to look away.

"I thought I kind of already was your boyfriend and then you basically flat out said I wasn't," he mumbled.

Michael was quiet, his brain still processing the words Luke had just said. His mouth opened and closed like a fish; he was literally speechless, and feeling a lot more sober then before. Luke wanted to be his boyfriend?

"W-what?" Michael blurted out. He mentally slapped himself, _Wow, great response Clifford._

"I mean, you misunderstood. That's not what I said." Michael attempted to correct himself.

Luke looked up at him and now it was his turn to furrow his eyebrows. "Michael, I know what I heard." Luke's hands dropped to his sides and Michael took a step back, needing the space as if it would help clear his head and get his words out clearly.

"Nononoooo," he rushed out. "I said you weren't my boyfriend, I never said I didn't want you to be." Michael paused before continuing, "See the thing is I wasn't sure what you wanted cause like we never really talked about what we are and stuff and like, I didn't wanna screw it up!"

Michael was pacing a bit now and his hands were waving wildly in front of him as he tried to explain himself.

"You're messing with my head, Hemmings. I don't know what it is, but you're different. I don't think I've ever put so much effort into anything before," Michael paused again before elaborating.

"I didn't wanna rush things with you and scare you off but I wasn't sure if you thought of me as, like, 'boyfriend material' or whatever," Michael said using his fingers to make air quotes, "So I didn't even want to _think_ about the b-word, cause it would hurt too much if that wasn't what you wanted."

He ran his hand through his hair and looked over at Luke, who was leaning against the wall, with his arms crossed over his chest and a smug smirk on his face.

"The b-word?" Luke asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.

Michael gave an exaggerated sigh and said exasperatedly, " _Boyfriend_."

Luke let out a chuckle and pushed himself off the wall. He reached out for Michael's hands and pulled him close, wrapping his arms around his waist. On instinct, Michael gripped the back of Luke's neck.

He felt a weight in his chest, but not the heavy kind that feels like it’s ripping a hole through you. It was the kind of feeling you get when you know you’ve just given your heart to someone and you trust them not to rip it to shreds.

Luke leaned in and kissed Michael's lips slowly and sweetly and Michael reacted immediately, relaxing into the kiss. When he pulled away the same smile was still pulling at Luke's lips.

"Michael Clifford, I really want to be your boyfriend," Luke whispered.

Michael's eyebrows shot up and his face literally brightened, like a cartoon character's would. "Really?" he questioned.

Luke nodded and bit at his lip ring. "I thought I made that pretty clear," he said with a chuckle.

Michael laughed as well, "Obviously you're just gunna have to spell things out for me from now on."

Luke gave Michael's waist a squeeze and replied, "I think I can manage that."

-

Five minutes later, Calum and Ashton saw Michael dragging Luke towards the front entrance of the bar.

"Where are you guys going?!" Calum called out, Ashton still hanging off of him.

Michael looked over his shoulder and called back, "I'm gunna go fuck my boyfriend!"

Luke and Michael could hear Ashton cackling even after they walked out the front door.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i don't own the boys and this story is fictional
> 
> hope you like it!! feedback is greatly appreciated :)


End file.
